Tuesday, May 14

GATSBY! (BUT MOSTLY FRIED CHICKEN, PAMMY BUCHANAN, AND MYRTLE'S PUPPY)



Let me preface this post by noting that we should stop shaming those who have not yet read Gatsby and do not want spoilers. Though most of us have been graced by the literary gift from heaven that is Gatsby, and though the book is 90 years old, surprisingly enough, there are humans in the world that are younger than we/have not yet had the opportunity or privilege to read it. So if someone's expressing interest in reading it and simultaneously picturing how much of a hottie F. Scott Fitzgerald is in real life (I mean... I wrote this before I knew what he looked like, so um... Decide for yourself) let em go for it and love the book as much as you did without any malice. After all, my 12th grade class just got to swoon over Jay Gatsby this year! Give everyone a break, guys. In not having read the book, in maybe sympathizing with Daisy a little, and in life, too.

So here we go. I loved the movie. All I wanted was to be given the plot straight, with as many stray streamers, fireworks, champagne, jewels, and fringes as humanly possible, and boy, did Baz deliver. As moviegoers, we have to (as difficult as it is, especially with Gatsby) resist our urge to have unrealistic expectations, and keep the director's vision in mind while watching. If you've seen Romeo and Juliet or Moulin Rouge (which I haven't! Don't kill me!), you pretty much know what Luhrmann wants when he makes his movies. Sure, they're campy. But they're campy because he fiends campy. He probably lives in a circus tent. But a cool thing that he did- that a lot of people misinterpreted, in my opinion- is really blatantly explain what was happening. He didn't leave anything to the viewers to figure out for themselves. When Daisy cried about the shirts, Luhrmann had Nick explain why she was crying!!! Could that be because he wanted to appeal to a broader audience? Maybe. Does he think we're dumb? Does he want to make this film into a really comprehensive Sparknotes companion? This seems like I'm going to build up and explain this to you, but I'm really not going to do that. I don't know why he did it. I don't know Baz Luhrmann! I am only 17 years old, people. Also, I loved all the music. It was just cool to see 1920's characters dance to Watch The Throne. Movies are for suspension of disbelief. If you told me you weren't giddy at that part, U ARE LYING.

But let's get real, guys: Gatsby was great. Here is some miscellaneous points I would like to point out:

1. Why wasn't Pammy Buchanan pleasantly plump?
Yeah, everyone. I know the Buchanan's daughter's first name. This is really not such a weird fact to know. Was I the only one who read the novel and expected Pammy to be lowered into Daisy's hands with a small crane (or whatever was the 1920's equivalent of a crane?)Pammy looked like a coherent four-year-old, but I pictured her as a four-year-old that only knew how to say "Mama". Yeah, I know I just described a two-year old. Below is an expertly crafted artist's re-imagining of what Pammy, America's sweetheart, should have looked like.


2. As Amanda Dobbins aptly suggested in this Vulture article, the 3D glasses should have been shaped as the Eyes of TJ Eckleburg.

3. Where was the fried chicken?!?
I, for one, would like to have seen some 3 Dimensional fried chicken on film. I would have liked even more to see Tom and Daisy scarf down fried chicken during an awkward silence. Suddenly, the window flies open and some chicken is gone!!! Who took the chicken? Was it New Pammy, gaining some baby chub? Or was it Gatsby, as the table is now covered in glitter?!!?! This has been a deleted scene that I just wrote for the movie.

4. Myrtle's dog was everything I hoped it would be and more.

Let's give a shout out to Elizabeth Debicki and Isla Fisher, who slayed as some killer supporting ladies (loved Myrtles thick accent and gaudiness and how Jordan was taller than Nick!)

Don't forget Leo. Leo, to loosely quote Mike Posner (yeah...) you were my first boy (in my dreams), let me be your last girl <3

Thanks for reading, Old Sportz!!!!!!! ;)


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